I want to thank all of you for your love and encouragement after my first entry. It really means a lot to me! I also want to say that anything you ever read that is good or possibly insightful, comes directly from God! I have never been a writer, except for the occasional letter to my Grandmother when I was much younger when she lived out of town. So I give God all the Glory & Praise!
Having said that, it's really funny the avenues in which God uses to speak to us. I was driving down the highway this afternoon on my way to Sam's (to take back some 4 day old fruit gone really bad!!) when I passed a truck with a strange load in the back. It was piled up to just over the truck bed with what looked like some type of coat racks. As I studied it, something at one end the coat racks, (or whatever they were), jumped out at me. It looked like some type of key hole.
I know it sounds odd that a key hole would jump out at me. But it was like one of those deja vu moments that you sometimes have. It reminded me of something I dreamt last night. When I got up this morning, I didn't even remember dreaming, but what I saw in the back of that truck reminded me of just one split second of my apparent dream. I remembered walking in a big hurry on my way "to something", and bumping into someone. I don't remember a face, I just remember seeing them holding a very large key. Large, like about 2 foot large!! I bumped into them, looked at them awkwardly and puzzled, and walked on. That is all I remember.
But as I remembered that, my head was suddenly filled with the thought, God is trying to unlock something in my heart. As I thought about that for a moment, I realized that sometime over the last 6 months to a year, I started to slowly lock God out of places in my heart. I began to slowly lose pieces of my heart and myself as I sat back and watched some things happen within different aspects of my spiritual journey. I think that's why things of late have hit me so hard. God has been trying to get me to give those parts of my heart back to him, but I continued to keep those parts locked up away from Him. I had become comfortable with only giving God a part of my heart. And by doing that, I let myself be blinded to things I would normally not have just accepted as being ok.
A very wise woman of God (and very good friend!!) once told me that God does not call us to be comfortable, He calls us to be obedient. If we are locking away parts of our heart and keeping them away from God, we can't be truly obedient.
As I traveled on to Sam's, (listening to Free Indeed), their remake of the Dennis Jernigan song "When the Night is Falling" came on. As I listened to the words, these words stood out to me...
"When the night would hide my way, I will listen until I hear you say, How I love you, Child I love you."
While I listened to those words, my emotions got the best of me. I realized that the night (Satan) had been hiding my way. And I realized that if I just listen, I will hear God say, "How I love you, Child I love you". I felt the love of God at that moment like never before and I felt a peace I had not known for quiet some time.
I'm sure there are still places in my heart that I have locked and hidden away from God. But I want to turn the key over to Him and allow Him to unlock those places so that I can once again worship Him with my whole heart, mind and body. I want to let God "Come and Sing Over Me"! My prayer is that you will let God "Come and Sing Over You" as well!
Reflections on 40 Years of Marriage
2 weeks ago